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All 44 game Reviews


I am vomiting hair I am vomiting hair

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

As much as I LOVE this game's design and atmosphere...the puzzles are immensely difficult. Especially the wheel one. The one with the green turning thing. I keep TRYING to do it clockwise and according to the paper, yet I am still unable to unlock the door below. There really should be a walkthrough or something for this, because I'm a pretty smart guy and even I'M completely stuck!


Fakewisdom responds:

https://vimeo.com/124373272
Mission acomplished!
I did it, it was very, very, very hard to make, but after repeatedly hitting my head against the keyboard i managed to get that stupid recording software to work and after a fiersome fight with the youtube registering system i gave up and made an account on vimeo!


Moonkid Moonkid

Rated 0 / 5 stars

I'm giving this an X solely based on the depressing subject matter alone. When I play my games, I like to think I'm, y'know, MAKING A DIFFERENCE.



Le Choix Le Choix

Rated 0 / 5 stars

...and now for a small list of animals that the average human does not eat.

FOXES. PIGEONS. DOVES. ROBINS. WEASELS. STOATS. FERRETS. HEDGEHOGS. WOLVES. DOGS. CATS. COYOTES. BEARS. RHINOS. HIPPOS. WHALES. DOLPHINS. I could go ON, but to try and paint this idea, to imply that any animal that isn't US is something we'll be chopping up and eating is disgusting. Oh, and by the way, before you say it, YES, animals feel pain. YES, we should cut down on our meat intake. But more for the benefit of the overall environment than the benefit of a cow.

Y'think that cow would have a fun time of it in the wild? Do you think that if a pack of coyotes descended on that cow, it would think "Oh, this is SO much better than being shot in the head and dying painlessly in a matter of seconds, thank you Jesus"!? Yeah, ah, NO.



Foreign Creature Saga Foreign Creature Saga

Rated 0 / 5 stars

You wanna know why I'm giving this the score it's getting? Because not only is this just a release of a several games you did before with nothing new added, but it's insulting to our intelligence, there's no meaningful ending whatsoever, the protagonist isn't worth giving a damn about, and it just shows your continued laziness to keep publishing work you did before that we could easily access just by going to your OLD entries. You ought to be ashamed.


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Killing House Night Killing House Night

Rated 2 / 5 stars

For those of you wondering what to do, I'll explain. Here's what you can click on. Lamp and piano, the AC, the Computer and the Safe, the television screen, the game system, the electric guitar and the camera, the sink, the shower, the toilet, the toilet paper and the bathtub, and the knife, the fridge, the oven, the pot left to boil, the blender and the microwave. Don't forget to do things like restart a level, turn the sound off and on, and experiment with the order in which you kill, and then you'll get the thirty achievements which unlocks an ending that explains nothing about WHY the damn thing is doing what its doing, how the hell a freaking hand injury somehow kills people, how the substance is doing all this, nope, it just takes over a f--king bird and flies off into a city. That's it. That's your ending.

WEAK. WEAK. WEAAAAAK.


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Being One - Episode 5 Being One - Episode 5

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Wait, so this guy's forces killed millions of innocent humans just because of what ONE human essentially did to hi-how is that even REMOTELY fair? Do you see CHINA killing off every American because of what ONE crazy tourist overseas did to-that's not even CLOSE to disproportionate-dude, you've committed GENOCIDE! That is NOT cool! That's seriously sick, man!



That Guy That Guy

Rated 4 / 5 stars

For those having problems with the attic thing, listen. After you get the key from the you-know-what in the kitchen, DO. NOT. GO. To the attic. That key doesn't open up the attic. It opens up your UNCLE'S room. Follow that bit of logic and the rest should come easily enough, I promise. This game has a suspenseful, frightening atmosphere for something so low-res, and it's really well done once you realize what you really need to do. And for those wanting to stop that big baddy, turn the flashlight off whilst he's still invisible...before you encounter him...then flash it on when he's close enough. You'll stun him.


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Memento Mori Memento Mori

Rated 0 / 5 stars

Nihilistic, cynical, unrealistic, whining, emo livejournal complaining that's not fun, not THOUGHTFUL, and disregards any importance one has in the world. I'm pretty sad you think this way and no, I can't relate to such ABYSMAL nihilism.



Dragon Boy 2 Dragon Boy 2

Rated 4 / 5 stars

It's a good game. Very addictive to play, though it can be challenging to level up your dragon because the little guy will always be in my way and getting struck at by other enemies, and since HE'S got worse health than you do, he dies pretty darn quick. Another thing: kind of a big glitch. I am physically unable to equip level 19 swords. It literally will not let me drag them to myself after buying. Something's gotta be done.



Samurai Asshole 2 Samurai Asshole 2

Rated 0 / 5 stars

This is an obvious April Fools Joke. But at least the Pico School 2 had SOME gameplay. This doesn't even have that. As such, I am giving this a No Star rating because it's not funny. It's not witty. There's no real humor involved, no effort whatsoever, and it so obviously meant to troll people clicking on the game and expecting an actual sequel to the original game, which, by the way, you left on a cliffhanger. I know you've got a lot on your chest, having to run a big-ass website and all, but frankly...this is just really bad.


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Kolumbo responds:

It is NOT a joke, asshole.